Thousands of children in Malaysia will be starting their first day of primary school in less than a week—a big day, a milestone in their life journey. The day comes with big dreams, anticipation and emotions. Parents and children spend days preparing for the first day of school with uniforms, books, meals and transport planning. All of this needs to come together smoothly.
A welcoming week awaits new students, greeting them at school with a programme planned to ease the transition to schooling life for both children and parents. Welcome banners will grace school entrances, alongside cheerful entertainment, including mascot-style costume characters like Pikachu.
Which child does not find a yellow mouse with a lightning-shaped tail and rosy cheeks adorable? Serious matters, however, are also a mainstay of the welcome week. Talks are held in school on topics such as the curriculum, in-class assessments, insurance and even proper manners for using school toilets.
School teachers and administrators work diligently to ensure the welcome week runs as planned. Despite all these efforts, something essential to the great onset of schooling might go unnoticed. What does it take for a child to have a positive school experience?
Material preparations are not enough
It may be tedious, but it is not arduous to prepare and comply with the lists for books, uniforms and stationery. Nonetheless, not everything can be addressed with lists of material items.
One should not forget that a child needs to be prepared for school not only physically but also psychologically. A child will be entering a new and unfamiliar environment, meeting classmates for the first time and possibly not accustomed to socialising. A child must also navigate parental expectations—whether reasonable or not, these expectations are often held close to parents’ hearts and left unspoken. If only such matters were openly discussed before school started.
Perhaps what is sorely needed is psychological preparation—to be ready for the challenges of school life and to understand how new students can be emotionally affected by the transition. There are many challenges, and each child is different. Where should a parent begin?
Communication is a good start—open communication. Parents need to communicate with their child. Schools need to communicate with students and parents, and most importantly, children must know when and how to communicate with adults when they need support.
Schools are, first and foremost, academic institutions. Expressing emotions does not come automatically. There are tuition classes that begin even before children start school. Just where can a child learn to be mentally strong when entering school?
According to a 2005 Harvard study on the prevalence and age of onset for DSM-IV disorders, 50% of mental health problems are established by age 14 and 75% by age 24. Mental well-being is undeniably important; the ability to cope with life’s uncertainties may well be a matter of life or death. Incidents of bullying—both physical and online—occur far too often, and younger and younger children are falling victim to them.
If anything should be done, it is to better prepare children to deal with these risks before they start school—to equip them with mental resilience much earlier. The author believes that the two most valuable things a parent can give their child are a good education and a good upbringing. A parent can delegate education to excellent schools and capable teachers, but should schools and teachers also be responsible for a child’s upbringing?
According to Harvard University’s Centre on the Developing Child 2010 report, the first five years of a child’s life are the most critical for brain development. This period presents a small window of opportunity to shape a child. The experiences of the first five years stay with them into adulthood. Traits such as honesty, kindness, independence and self-direction begin to develop within this timeframe.
These traits take time to cultivate through many interactions and cannot be gained from a class or boot camp. Perhaps the best way for parents to prepare their child for school life is to engage in meaningful interactions with them from a young age. It may also be the best way for parents to accept that their little one is growing up and on their way to becoming an independent adult.
Fareen Ali is head of training at the Universiti Malaya Centre of Leadership and Professional Development (UM LEAD).
