Whenever I watch the musical Cats, especially when Grizabella sings Memory as she ascends to the “Heaviside Layer” to be reborn, my thoughts drift back to the days when life felt energetic, adventurous, and full of promise. Grizabella, once a glamorous figure, now finds herself isolated and yearning for acceptance from her Jellicle peers. Her poignant lyrics, based on T.S. Eliot’s poems, speak to the longing for past glories:
Memory, all alone in the moonlight
I can dream of the old days
Life was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
While I don’t share Grizabella’s desperation, I often find myself wishing for a “Heaviside Layer” of my own—a place where I could walk in and emerge as a younger version of myself, ready to relive life’s adventures. In the busyness of modern life, a single memory can transport us back to a time when everything seemed simpler and more connected. But what if nostalgia could do more than just comfort us—what if it could heal?
Nostalgia is more than a longing for the past; it encompasses fond memories, milestones, and relationships that shape who we are. For the elderly, these memories often revolve around childhood, family, and career accomplishments. Moments of nostalgia can be triggered by familiar sights, sounds, or smells, like the “madeleine” moments described by Marcel Proust, bringing vivid recollections of joy, sorrow, or cherished relationships.
The origins and therapeutic benefits of nostalgia
Interestingly, the word “nostalgia” has its roots in the Greek words nóstos (return or homecoming) and álgos (pain or suffering), originally describing the intense homesickness experienced by Swiss soldiers in the 17th century. For a long time, nostalgia was viewed as a form of neurotic depression. However, by the late 20th century, sociologists began to redefine nostalgia in a more positive light, seeing it as a way to connect with our past in a meaningful way.
For the elderly, sharing these memories not only brings comfort but also strengthens relationships with younger generations. Family stories, cultural experiences, and historical events create a shared identity that promotes unity across age groups, reinforcing both individual and communal relationship.
Reminiscence therapy, a technique used to help the elderly recall and share past experiences, can evoke positive emotions and improve their quality of life. A 2023 geriatrics study showed that group reminiscence sessions about hometowns significantly boosted life satisfaction among the Korean elderly. Engaging in activities like journaling, storytelling, playing childhood games, or creating memory albums allows older adults to organize their thoughts and preserve their memories in meaningful ways.
However, nostalgia must be approached carefully. The benefits of reminiscing can depend on the context in which memories are evoked. A 2020 study published in Frontiers of Psychology found that people tend to feel more nostalgic when they are lonely. While nostalgia can provide comfort, it can also amplify feelings of isolation or dissatisfaction if not managed well.
The other side of nostalgia
As the Italian poet Dante Alighieri wrote, “There is no greater sorrow than to recall a happy time when miserable.” Nostalgia, when indulged excessively, can trap us in a cycle of regret, longing for a past that can never return. The “good old days” can seem like a distant dream, leaving us feeling disconnected from the present.
In some cases, nostalgia can even lead to bitterness or resentment. People might dwell on lost opportunities, thinking, “I should have married that person” or “I deserved that success.” These thoughts can turn into feelings of anger or vengeance, clouding our ability to live in the present.
Reality reminds us that we only live once, and we must make the most of our time without dwelling too much on what could have been. It’s essential to acknowledge our past without getting stuck in it. Nostalgic memories should serve as bridges that connect our experiences, strengthen our hope, and bring healing.
The next time you find yourself reminiscing, don’t just savour the memory—share it. Whether with family, friends, or in a therapeutic setting, telling your stories can foster deeper connections and mutual trust. Let’s embrace those memories over a cup of kopi and kaya toast at the nearest kopitiam, but remember: To keep one foot grounded in the present.